Rest Stop (Short Story Review by Dlsiluk)

Rest Stop: bad Grammar, low vocabulary, uses abbreviations too much, the first half of the story is non-descriptive, too much jargon, cussing on every page, not as bad as Mario LLosa, but too much to allow it to be of any quality. He builds the plot and theme up carefully, better than “Harvey’s Dream,” and “The New York Times…” he describes anger saying it is better than no emotion, that is a good insight for once. About halfway through the seventeen page story, he gets into description and explaining, it’s about time. His adjectives lack, and it seems the narrator—or third person is doing all the work, you never get to know the main characters, that’s a shame, he needs to be quiet once and a while, the dialogue is lacking, even the inner dialogue. He needs to read a little of H.P. Lovecraft, or Clark A. Smith, put some style in this story, rhythm, why he puts an alligator in the story is silly, a lack of humour, trying to be light-hearted and funny in a serious situation. The best I can say is the ending being not very climatic was realistic. Dlsiluk (8-18-2010)